When PJ told the story about the man who struggled in the water, I was like "that's me". I always want to make things right when they are wrong. Whenever someone is mad at me, I have the impulse to say "sorry" and make it right again. I have never just sat in my struggles and in my suffering. God allowed me to do that with Hannah yesterday and again today. I recognize that I can't get out of this by myself anymore. The only thing that I have to turn to is Him. It's so surreal (weird) to bask in my sufferings. It sucks but at the same time it feels right. One of the things that has stuck with me the past few days is that the last will be first, the poor will be given the kingdom of Heaven.
If I need to be brought to the lowest place possible, I'll do it all for You.