Homeless

It's funny. I feel homeless in almost every possible sense that I can think of. Homeless physically, because to me a home is a safe haven where I can rest. My dorm room is usually a physical manifestation of how I am feeling on the inside, and right now it's probably the most disgusting it's been. Homeless because I have slept in another room for the past 4 out of 5 days.
Homeless relationship wise because I feel as if I have no core "group" to run to when something happens, or to hang out just because we like each other. I have Shannon, Jeanette and Hannah, and maybe a few others but that is it for me, which is such a far cry from a semester ago.
Homeless emotionally in a sense that right now I can't identify how I am feeling. Right now I feel like I'm floating, but not necessarily in a good way. I just feel as if all the strings holding me down have been cut back, but now I'm just wandering without a purpose. Don't really know I feel about that, because I can't really even feel right now.

But I have neglected the spiritual aspect. I am never homeless, in God I will always have a home. In God I will always have my hideaway, my safe place, my resting spot. In God I will not have to worry about anything else. I have become so focused on looking and sounding "mature" and "holy" that that has become my main focus, and not God. Sometimes I only lift my hands up if other people have, or I only jump if others have jumped already too. Why am I so afraid to take the first step for Him? If He really is my home,  I don't have anything to worry about. He will protect and shield me and love me in the best possible way. Why am I so afraid in my home? So worried about how He thinks of me and of the sins I have committed?
No, I am finding my home in God. I have to keep reminding myself of that, to speak truth, which is such an important weapon that God has equipped me with recently.